Since I was a child I’ve felt there was something great I’m meant to do, something beyond what I was doing. At times the feeling would take over, and I’d split between despair and hope that one day I’d discover what it was.
Flash forward, I’m almost 30 and I’ve yet to do anything great, at least to the expectations of my childhood self. I graduated grade school, University, and college despite what my early educators thought. In their defense, they were working with the broken model of public education.
My parents spent a small fortune sending me to private school, that was a turning point. At 12 I couldn’t read, but the private school had different methodologies that worked for me, I was lucky. Onward to high school, I was able to succeed based on my expectations. I got good marks and accepted to all the universities I applied for.
Everyone said the first semester would be hard, a change of pace, that I would suffer but come out stronger. Those words seemed to have an effect on me, my first semester wasn’t too hard, I did my work and got decent marks. Unfortunately, that was my best semester. Afterward, I didn’t have much of a will to try, aside from a few classes.
Schooling is over, on to the next phase.
At this point, life became a little more difficult because there was no longer a defined path. It was now a matter of my choices. At some point, I got a job at a call center and stayed longer than anyone would have expected. My brother got mad at me and told me and my parents that I was wasting my life, I was.
I got the idea to teach English in another country, so I quit my job and went to Korea. It helped, life was different, I found myself and overcame some of my shyness, I was more outgoing. I took a trip to India, before leaving my brother warned ‘Be careful, sometimes you can be a too fearless’.
On my return, I went to college and learned something interesting: websites. At college I was a great student, I got good marks with relative ease and little effort. But I wanted something greater, that childhood dream was back, begging for more.
College leads to a mediocre job. After a few months of wasted potential, I got laid off. 4 months later I found myself looking for another job thinking about how I could do some much more. On to another job, another five years, still waiting for that chance to show my potential and take the leap. Life teaches us to wait, but instead, we should leap into something new and make a new life for ourselves.